Sometimes I long for the simplicity of the infant bath tub. It was just a small tub of water, possibly a hammock to support them, a washcloth to clean them with and maybe one unnecessary toy that they really didn't play with. There were times when Hannah pooped in her infant tub. No Big Deal. You simply lift the baby out of the water, dump the poop water into the sink or tub, rinse, refill and you're good to go.
If you're freaking out about an infant pooping in the tub and have stumbled upon this post looking for assistance, just wait a few months. Bath time poops get exponentially worse with age.
Hannah pooped while I was in the bathtub with her once.
okay it was twice. Possibly three times. ... I lost count.
I was trying to relax with my newborn and enjoy some skin to skin bonding. She even nursed in the tub. It was fabulous. Until a brown worm went floating over my thigh.
My body went rigid. I didn't understand what was happening.
Then I noticed another worm.
And another.
And then I realized it was poop.
Oh. My. God.
It was at that moment that I earned a mommy merit badge.
I grabbed my Sassy Soft Touch Rinse Cup (best $6 ever) and began scooping up the worms as I yelled frantically for Chris and tried not to upset Hannah. He dumped the cupfuls of poop water into the toilet, and when all the big chunks were removed we simply drained the water, rinsed the tub, refilled it so we could rinse off and we were good to go.
The REALLY tough situation is when your baby is older.
Say... 9 months 28 days and 14 hours old.
For the sake of conversation, let's just take Hannah for example.
She can sit independently in the tub, loves playing with lots of toys and enjoys bath time SO much, that it's possible to clean your bathroom counter, clean the mirror, reorganize makeup - you know, general tidying up while she splashes and plays.
Then you hear bubbles popping. forcefully. and you look over at her and she seems incredibly pleased with her gas explosion, but you don't see anything to be alarmed about.
And then a minute later, out of the corner of your eye, you see too many 'toys' floating around the tub. You realize that she didn't fart like a 200 pound frat boy, but instead lost complete control of her bowels and chunks of poop are everywhere.
My first instinct - as would be yours - was to yell for assistance from another adult - husband, mother in law, random neighbor - anybody.
But I'm home alone.
Here's what you do:
First
Close the bathroom door.
I know it seems crazy to lock yourself IN with the mess, but the last thing you want to be doing is be on your hands and knees bailing poop from a bathtub with a 9 month 28 day 14 hour old toddler in the making - that is covered in poo particles - running loose naked in your house. Unless that's your idea of a fun Sunday evening.
Second
Do a finger sweep of the mouth.
Babies put everything in their mouth. Everything. Enough said.
Three
Lay a towel down on the floor, lift the baby out of the water and partially dry them off.
Don't put a lot of effort into it because that child is going right back in the water in a few minutes and will receive a VERY good scrub down, but you don't want them getting cold.
... or dripping poop water all over your bath mats.
Four
Quarantine all toys.
The sink is the best place to put all of the bath toys. If any of them fill with water, squirt water or plain
touched the water, they'll need to be disinfected at a later date. For now, you have more pressing matters.
Five
Grab your Sassy cup and start bailing.
If you haven't bought one yet I suggest you go to your laundry room and dig out six $1 bills or 24 quarters, 60 dimes, way too many nickels or 600 pennies from the 'loose change bowl' and buy yourself one. You're also probably kicking your butt because now you're going to have to use a drinking glass to scoop the poop. Just make sure it's an easily identifiable cup that you can pass off to company because the dishwasher will never get that cup clean enough for ME to want to drink out of again.
Six
Curse. a lot.
By the time your baby is nearly 10 months old they'll probably be eating 'real' food and their poop will have lost its breastfed baby poop liquid-ness that caused it to float like worms in the tub as an infant.
As gross as those worms were, they are wicked easy to scoop up.
Older baby poop disintegrates in the water literally turning into poo particles that attach to everything.
If you're unlucky enough to have a drain trap with tiny holes so you don't lose important thing - like I do - then you'll really be cursing. Most of the chunks will be too big to go down the drain yet too small to scoop with the cup. Screwed.
Drain the water anyway, occasionally turning on the faucet to fill your cup and pour the water at the top of the tub so that it runs down towards the drain, catching poop as it goes.
Seven
Remember that you love your baby.
Keep draining, scooping, pouring and cursing until you have it all cleaned up.
If you have a non slip mat suctioned-cupped to the bottom of your tub - like I do - realize that you need to rip that up and rinse underneath. Otherwise poop will be trapped underneath there and once you fill up the tub with clean water it'll quickly become contaminated with the hiding flecks of fecal matter.
Eight
Refill the tub.
Nice warm water, lots of soap and some old fashioned elbow grease should have your baby spick and span in no time. Wash the hair, behind the ears and the in the arm pits - poo particles are sneaky little suckers.
Nine
Loudly exclaim 'All Done!'
Wrap up bath time however you normally do so, dry them off with a clean towel - don't even think of using that one that you laid out on the floor earlier - and exit the bathroom.
Ten
Curse again as you walk by the sink full of toys that you forgot you still needed to clean.
I wash them in the kitchen sink. I squeeze all the water out first, then I do a really hot water soak with a splash of
Bac Out. A quick cold water rinse and they're all set for the next bath.
Congratulate yourself for managing the minor emergency with the grace of a domestic goddess. I'm really proud of you and, ya know, after all that work you deserve a cool beverage.
I made some lemonade this morning and I have
just the glass for you.
You're welcome.