Like a Sine Wave

(math joke)


My hormones were CRAZY the past few weeks. I could cry at the drop of a hat and usually did multiple times a day at work. I felt guilty and sad and anxious and restless and just wanted to go home. {pout}


But it seems that I have my big girl panties on this week and everything is in check. Whew.


I had a history of anxiety in college.
It turns out that moving to the East Coast to start your big fancy college career only to have 9/11 happen days later and have everyone around you affected is a lot to take in for a po-dunk farm girl. It affected me more than it should have. After I graduated college I was able to get it under control and no longer had to take medication for it.


I digress.


So when I got pregnant I was concerned that I would be at higher risk for postpartum depression.


I think PPD is something that mothers who have been made aware of the likelihood are very concerned about. It was my second biggest fear.


Losing Hannah was obviously my number 1 fear, but not being able to enjoy her was a close second.


I feel very blessed that I didn't have any issues the first few months besides just general sleep deprivation induced whiny-ness, but when I noticed my moods trending more and more sad, I was concerned. But I think it was just a momentary hormonal flux and that things have righted themselves.